Never Shop on an Empty Stomach

...never go to bed angry, never put all your eggs in one basket, never make important decisions when you're in a not-great emotional state...

I've been in a bit of a funk this past couple of weeks and completely unable to nail down why.  I've been able to identify some contributing factors, but the big WHY remains elusive.  It was in this state of mind that I was re-reading some past blog posts (specifically the ones under the "Philosophical Musings" tag).  I noticed a recurring (disturbing, yet familiar) theme:  I keep saying what a breakthrough I've had on how to go about living my life and/or revamping my blog and/or just generally being a better person, then going right back to the same ol', same ol' - maybe with a tweak or two, but no major shifts...

I felt....ashamed? alarmed?  Can't identify exactly what emotion was bubbling up, but it wasn't good.  I felt like I should just pull the plug on the ol' blog and go hide in a hole or something.  I felt like I owe everyone who ever gave this blog even a passing glance an apology for being so wishy-washy and inconsistent.  I felt like a failure.

This morning I'm not really any happier (maybe even a bit more melancholy), but I realize that what I'm going through is probably a common experience for many others beside myself.  Nobody is really happy 100% of the time, are they?  Everyone faces challenges and setbacks and frustrations and disappointments and all the rest of the gamut that life throws at us.

It's been a rough year here in our corner of the world (okay - maybe the past couple of years),  with aging/dying parents, loved ones struggling with substance abuse issues, rocky financial situations, deaths of several of our friends - the list goes on, and is not unique to us, of course.

I made up my mind this morning that "keeping it real" was better than hiding in a hole.  That there may be value in laying out for the world to see that you can come through negative and struggle back to happy (I'm working on that now), and realize that, like Einstein said, "I haven't failed., I've just found 10,000 ways that didn't work".

I'm still finding the one way that does.  Or maybe there's more than one way.  Or maybe the way starts out working but, as we evolve, we need a new and improved way.  I'm hoping against hope that the latter is the true thing for me.  Maybe I just keep outgrowing what used to work, so I need to shed that and grow a new plan...

Anyway, I'm not trashing the blog, but I'm also not making promises on "new and improved" - I'll just send out a signal now and then on what I've found to be helpful...  Enjoy your day, and thanks for stopping by!

Comments

[Linda]

Thanks so much for this post and for putting so many of my feelings into words! My blog has been sadly neglected since August due to many life issues getting in the way and now I am participating in NaNoWriMo 2011 so the blog will continue to be forlorn for a few more weeks.

I too often have the desire to improve and make baby steps, but never progress as far as I would like as fast as I would like because something steps up to be handled first.

The good thing is that every day I get up is a day I can improve something. So I can just hope I continue to get up every morning ;-)

Your inspiration is always appreciated!

[Sue]

Thanks for your kind words, Linda. As I said, I know that I'm not alone, but thanks for validating that thought for me. Enjoy NaNoWriMo (I should get involved some time - I'll add it to the list), and here's to getting up every morning!

[Sherry Dobreski]

Hi... my name is Sherry, and I'm a 'neglected blog' owner... it's been over a year since I've posted... over a year! .. but I have to say I love visiting yours and many others blog sites and that is part of my problem (albeit only a small part).. that I spend more time blurfing than I do crafting and filling my site with artwork,family life etc. Sometimes it feels as though I've fallen down a rabbit hole and cannot find the way out because of my medical problems... but I have to remain positive and know that life will get better. Thank you for showing me that there are many ways to overcome obstacles if we just open up to the possibilities that are out there. I am here for you on your journey back to happy and I know that you are also here for me on mine..always.. we'll get our blog sites churning again I'm sure of it but sometimes you have to step back reaccess and move on from there... and that's ok... Oh and I second that ---> Here's to waking up every morning!! BTW what is NANOWRIMO???

[Sue]

Hey, girlfriend! All things in good time, right? Yes, we are (and have been, for what - twelve years now?) there for each other, thank goodness! NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month, and there's a website for that: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

[Jenn Embry]

You are most definitely not a failure my friend! You are however human. Just like the rest of us. I think we all have areas where we vow to improve and then make miniscule steps towards improvement. I know I do. My blog is much neglected because I've been super busy. Heck, both of my blogs have been neglected. I agree, we all go through something like this. There are days I wonder why I don't feel happy when I have so many blessings, yet other days I feel so grateful and on top of the world. I think it's all just part of the human experience. Keep your chin up. It'll get better. (((hugs)))

[Sue]

Thanks, Jenn! Things are looking up already - I can't sustain a funk for long periods of time, but I can have a spectacular mope every now and again...