random.on purpose.

Surrender vs. Abdication

Lately I have been involved in  discussions regarding self will and asserting it - or not.  The contention is that our will is selfish and not a reliable guide, so surrendering to a higher power is the answer.

That's good as far as it goes, but here's the rub:  if you are asking said higher power for guidance, then you need to be open to and aware of the various ways that this guidance shows up.  Intuition - literally "taught from within" - is, I believe, one of those ways.  If we confuse intuition with self will - with letting the Ego take over - then we risk denying ourselves a very vital tool.

Thinking that we have to surrender our will and trust that things will "go the way they're supposed to", that however things play out is "God's will" or whatever, without our very active - even proactive - participation, is an abdication of responsibility.

Did your higher power not give you tools that you are expected to use?  Do you not have a "still, small voice" and a mind capable of processing the options available, guided by that?

Certainly we need to let go of attachments to outcomes - not let ourselves get thrown off course because it doesn't look like we expected it to - but throwing our hands in the air is exactly the same thing as throwing in the towel.

GPS is helpful in directing your route, but it only works when you're in motion, which means that you have to be an active participant in the process...

So then I thought...

...that this was an appropriate post for a Sunday and I really should sit down and type it out.  But then I thought that I had absolutely NO food in the house, only enough half-and-half  for (maybe) one more cup of coffee, and the toilet paper supply was dangerously low.  Which, of course, precipitated a trip to the grocery store, followed by an excursion with Greg, then a project in my studio, then dinner, so I'm JUST NOW getting around to posting!  My train of thought went along these lines:

Every religion (at least the ones that I'm aware of) acknowledge the existence of a higher power or "god", although the definitions and labels may differ somewhat.  Even those who do not subscribe to a religion acknowledge that there are powers operating in the Universe that defy our comprehension - that are "higher" or more intelligent or whatever. 

In the past I've felt that maybe I should return to the concept of "God" that I was raised with, but I'm just not sure about it.  Is it a single being - a Master or a father figure, perhaps? - or a collective consciousness of all of the intelligences that have ever existed, or what?  Today as I was mulling the question over once again, I determined that it really didn't matter.  An analogy came to mind:

I lived most of my adult life across the continent from my parents.  I couldn't see them, so if their appearance differed from my memory of them, there was no way for me to KNOW that.  I could, however,  speak with them any time that I wanted to, and if I needed advice or assistance I could ask and they would do what they could.  Similarly, we can't see "God", so any description is (in my mind) subjective and open to debate.  BUT - we can still have a level of confidence in the existence of a higher power and access to it. 

Religious leaders and scientists alike acknowledge that we are all part of a larger "organism", if you will - that you and I and the oceans and the trees and the stars are all interconnected and made of the same materials and come from the same source.  Following on with that train of thought, it occurred to me that if we are all part of the same "organism", then wouldn't God be part of that organism?  Wouldn't that, in fact, validate the thought that we are all divine?

Then it occurred to me that if time is truly relative - that the past and the present and the future all exist concurrently -  then our little lifetimes here on this planet are not all that there is to our story - there are chapters that came "before" and that will come "after" those chapters that we are aware of living "now", that have more to tell - and that we're living those concurrently, as well.

Here's the deal:  our mortal, finite minds can only glimpse bits of the concepts known as "eternity" and "infinity".  It's too big to grasp fully, so we try to organize the information in a way that we can comprehend.  My belief is that this is the main contributing factor to all of the various definitions of God and to the religions of the world.

Bottom line for me:  it's absolutely, completely pointless to spend any time worrying about the nature of God or aligning myself with any particular religion or philosophy.  "Whatever is for the greatest and highest good of everyone involved" is the ONLY quide that I really need to choose among available options. 

I DO, however, recognize a need for re-introducing spiritual practices into my daily routine (one of my "tweaks" for the year).  When I made meditation and prayer a part of my daily routine, I found that I was living with more purpose, more intention, and more connection - with myself and with those around me.  Somewhere along the line I decided that I had too much to do to take the time, and gradually phased it out.  I need/want to get back to purposeful, mindful living, as well as aligning myself with "the powers that be", and so I am going to begin again...

 

The "Between" Times

As I was walking past my front door this morning I caught a glimpse of the sunrise in the window, so I stopped to gaze at it for a bit and appreciate the beauty of it.

As I watched the deep pinks pale into pastels as the light grew, it occurred to me that I loved the "just before" colors better:  just before daylight - just before dark, too.

My soul responds to the "between" times - between daylight and dark (whether daybreak or day's end), between calm and storm, between this task and that.

The respite from one thing and the anticipation of the next plays into this, certainly.  But I truly do appreciate these between times on their own merit.  Something to do with the stillness, no doubt.

"Be still" is a phrase that always stirs a profound response in my heart and soul.  It is in stillness that angels speak, that muses sing, that insights and inspiration come.  It is in stillness that hearts are filled and souls fed.  Amen and amen...

(Photo taken between daylight and dusk, October 2010)

One More Thought on Futility

I live in an older home with double-hung windows.  In order to accomodate a window air-conditioning unit in my studio, it was necessary to raise the front (lower) window, which leaves a gap between the two windows.  Normally, there is a screen in place to keep bugs out but it had to be removed, obviously.

In order to seal the gap, I've put a strip across, taped in place, from the top edge of the front window to the glass of the one behind.  Bugs (moths, most especially) get between the two windows and can't figure out how to get out.  They invariably go up, hit the strip, flutter down just a bit, crawl back up, hit the strip, flutter down just a bit, crawl back up...you get the idea...

Freedom is as simple as going down, since that's where the exit is.  It must seem counterintuitive to them to do so but, judging by the growing collection on the lower window frame, release from this cycle of futility comes only with death.

Where are you killing yourself?  Maybe you should look around for another direction...

On Flogging Dead Horses

...banging your head against walls, and other equally futile acts:

Comes a time when you realize that your head hurts, or that the horse won't revive, and you must collect your scattered energies and move calmly on.

Joy on your journey...

It's All About the Attitude

Funny how we always learn the most in uncomfortable situations, isn't it?  Well, maybe it would be more accurate to say from uncomfortable situations than in them.  After we pass through whatever the event or circumstance might be, we usually have 20/20 hindsight from which to view and learn...

The past month - and, more especially, the past week - have taught me much.  I have had multiple paradigm shifts, and have now arrived at a place of relative peace and calm.  Along the way, I've had anger, frustration, despair, resentment, grief - you name it, it came a-callin'!

What I've now realized is that I was giving my power away.  NOBODY has the power to "make" me feel ANYTHING, unless I give that power to them.  I am the master of my emotions - I get to choose how/what I feel in any given situation!

I was choosing to come from a rational, logical, "this-is-the-way-the-world-should-work" place, which only led to frustration and anger, since I was dealing with circumstances that defy logic.  When I chose to shift to a stance that allowed for empathy, perhaps even pity, my emotional charges diffused and I could move into calm.

Will I still have many, many chances to test my theory and my resolve?  I'm quite sure the answer is yes.  Do I plan to circle back around to calm as quickly as possible?  Absolutely! 

Keep calm, and carry on...

Sometimes Crying is a Good Thing...

We all know that crying can be very cathartic.  Sometimes you need a good cry to clear things up - to clear your mind, clear the air, clear the relationship - whatever.  Sometimes, though, it's just a clear indicator that you are still very human, humane, and involved in - or at least in touch with - your fellow beings here on this sphere orbiting through space.  These touched me:

A story from Susannah Conway's pinterest - great picture accompanying it, too*.

A returning soldier surprises his kids (video) - especially the little girl's reaction...

Have a great weekend (and a good cry if you want to)!

*I've often maintained that if I had a "do-over" as far as educational/career pursuits, that I'd study cetaceans - love, love love...

Free Advice

...because sometimes it's needed...

IF:

• You don't have all of the information
• You only hear one side of the story
• You were previously uninvolved
• You've never "walked a mile"...

THEN:

• Step out of judgement
• Keep your advice to yourself  (unless asked)
• Be grateful that it's not your situation to deal with

(Yes, this mini-rant was triggered by the goings-on in the "Sue-niverse", as Lauren calls it, but it's still good advice, and I'm reminding me, too...)

Take Time/Make Time

My default programming needs to be reset:  I've been running for years on "When I (fill in task or deadline here), then I can (fill in what I'd rather be doing here)".  Know what I have to show for it?  A string of frantic, frenzied tasks and not a lot of actual living...

This morning it occurred to me that if I want to live my life with purpose and intention, then each task that makes up that life needs to be approached with purpose and intention.  Each moment brings the opportunity to appreciate something with any/all of our senses.  The "mundane" is so only because I label it as such.  If I slow down - just a bit - to put myself fully in the moment, the moments will become much more satisfying, I'm thinking.

I'm also aware that the Law of Attraction comes into play here.  If I want the (what I'd rather be doing) to materialize, I need to think of it in the present tense, not the future.  Thinking of it as a future event keeps it always in the future.  I'll have to do some pondering on that one to see how to switch it up - further bulletins as events warrant...

Today, though, I'm re-writing just a bit: "Make time" will no longer be an idle phrase in my life.  Instead, it will be "MAKE the most of the TIME you have"!

I Am Grateful

• for a husband that loves me, and whom I'm still giddy about eighteen years after our first meeting, and after sixteen years of marriage
• for my first marriage - it provided me with contrast, insight, memories, and six beautiful children
• for parents who were brilliant together - until the day his Alzheimer's completely erased his memory of even being married, my father got all misty-eyed when he talked about my mother.  Theirs was a fairy-tale kind of love...
• for my childhood - idyllic, secure, creative, open-ended.  My parents encouraged us to be who we really were and pursue every avenue of learning that interested us, and guided without making us feel "less" because we had missed the mark or done something not in line with what they'd taught us.  Self esteem and creativity were huge in the home I grew up in.
• for my children.  They are constantly teaching me and making me re-think what I think I know.  They are all amazing individuals - so similar and so vastly different from each other - and I feel truly blessed to know them.
• for my grandchildren.  Ditto on what I said about their parents...
• for my siblings and their significant others and their offspring - what a varied and wonderful group of interesting, heart-warming folk my family is!
• for my friends.  I tend to keep myself to myself and, as a result, I have more acquaintances than actual friends, but the handful that I have are a HUGE blessing to me!
• for clothes to wear and food to eat and a roof over my head and a car to drive and a million, billion creature comforts that I enjoy and usually take for granted
• for technology that allows me to learn things that were previously unavailable to me.  There is simply not enough time to go to all the classes I would need to attend or read all the books I would need to read to answer the questions that pique my interest from time to time.  I can look it up somewhere on the Internet and move on...
• for the same technology that allows me to do what I'm doing right now  - share ideas with others that I may or may not ever meet.  The blogs I go to daily and the emails and the Facebook (which I'm not on yet - maybe soon) and all are incredible tools to connect us with each other, and my life is enriched because of it.
• for Odd Brain.  I enjoy the twists and turns and oddities, and am grateful again for parents who allowed me that freedom and didn't try to discourage my oddness or get me to 'conform'.  One result is that I will try pretty much anything that interests me without fear - I'll either succeed brilliantly, learn what to do different the next time, or realize that perhaps my interests will be better served elsewhere.  Each result is equally valid, so what's to fear?  Thanks, AJ and JG...

There is more - so much more - but you get the idea...  Have a very blessed and peaceful and happy Thanksgiving.  I'm grateful for you, too!